TIMES I PRETENDED I WAS SLEEPING

Fooled yas all
  1. When my roommate came home blackout drunk at 11pm on a Sunday and fell out of her bed, crawled to the bathroom and barfed for the next four hours
    Poor girl was starting her new job the next day YOLO amirite
  2. When the cops showed up at my apartment because the party I WAS THROWING for my friend was too hoppin' I guess
    My b.
  3. When my friend and her bf did sex stuff in the same room where a bunch of us were sleeping
    Your twin sister was also in this room u dirty bitch
  4. Every time my other gross roommate came home drunk and would walk around the room naked for upwards of an hour
    I still hate u wherever u are
  5. When the guy next to me on a megabus had his hand down his pants for the whole ride and kept mumbling to himself
    Didn't know what else to do tbh
  6. The (probably 2) times I shared a bed with someone I was relatively attracted to
    🎵I'm wide awake🎵