THINGS I WOULD DO TO BE ABLE TO TEXT MY DOG

  1. Sell my beautiful long hair
  2. Be trapped in a room with Danny devito
  3. Watch the mistletoes
  4. Do a juice cleanse
  5. Just kidding that's a bit much
  6. Get a tramp stamp
  7. Sell my left kidney.....just not my right
  8. Audition for American idol....if that's still a thing