Anatomy of a Selfie

This isn't candid. It's calculated.
  1. This is the best of 16 photos taken in my bathroom.
  2. I stood with my arm extended and hand tilted in such a way as to get the most slimming angle that could also pass as natural.
  3. My head is turned to the side and part of my cheek is obscured by hair to hide the sheer width of my face.
  4. I used contour to hide my double chin (not very well).
  5. My forehead is huge so, as per usual, it was not included in the picture.
  6. This isn't candid. It's calculated.
  7. Producing a picture that depicts me as anything other than a gutter troll makes me feel good about myself
  8. (Or rather, it helps me to hate myself a little less)