MODERN COPING MECHANISMS

Relatively new ways to deal with the same old shit
  1. Staring at your phone to combat feelings of social anxiety
    Most often employed at parties, whilst standing in line, and of course WAITING ROOMS
  2. Tweeting song lyrics
    Just can't seem to put your angsty thoughts into words? USE SOMEONE ELSE'S
  3. Eating every variety of Oreo
    Drown your sorrows in Double Stuf Oreos, lighten your mood with Lemon Oreos, just grab a glass of milk and go crazy
  4. Exhaustive Googling
    Have a problem? Turn to the Internet and read everything you can find that is remotely related to your situation. Bonus points for reciting your findings to your unwilling best friend or significant other
  5. Meditative Naps
    Is this one really new? Idk. But meditating till you fall into a deep restorative sleep can't hurt and could probably (DEFINITELY) help
  6. Netflix or Pandora Stand Up Marathon
    Comedy is one of the best ways to deal with depression or anxiety or just feeling like poo in general
  7. Sad Selfies
    Turn to Instagram or FB and let all your friends tell you how attractive you are. Who cares if they're just being nice? Bonus points for captioning your pic with something completely unrelated to the fact that you're looking for validation
  8. Seasonal candy shopping spree
    TREAT👏🏽YO👏🏽SELF