Reasons I didn't go to your funeral
Yesterday I drove 2 hours to say goodbye to my step-sister but didn't make it past the parking lot.
- •You were my ageYou had so much left to do.
- •I wasn't sure if there would be a viewing and but I was 100% sure I couldn't handle seeing you
- •I saw your kids standing outside and lost itThey don't even know me. My kids will never know you.
- •I did a shit job of keeping in touch with youWe stayed "connected" through Facebook but I honestly don't know what was going on in your life.
- •The last time I saw you, your kids were babiesThere is no excuse for this. Our parents divorced and we both moved away but you were still my sister.
- •I didn't deserve to be thereWe were together all the time for a few years. But these people have been with you and stayed with you and known you in a way I will never be able to comprehend. Their grief is justifiable. Mine is wrapped up in selfishness and regret and I am not worthy.
- •I feel responsibleI'm sure everyone who loves you is feeling this. But I genuinely feel like if I had been there for you, shown you more love and support, you wouldn't have felt so alone. You wouldn't have felt like this was your only option.