THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T OFFEND ME BUT TOTALLY DO

Maybe I'm the asshole
  1. When I let you walk in front of my car and you don't acknowledge me with a smile or wave or head nod
  2. When I let you walk in front of my car and you walk in a diagonal line like I have time for you to take the scenic route
  3. When you ask me to watch more than two YouTube videos
    We both know I'm practically a saint for agreeing to watch the first one, why are you being a dick about this?
  4. When you respond to my text with a phone call
    Nope
  5. More than one question mark
    What??
  6. When you say you "didn't see" my text
    I know it's a lie we all tell sometimes and it shouldn't get under my skin but it absolutely does
  7. When you don't like my husband or kid(s) or dog(s)
    Sometimes people just don't like other people and that should be ok but *SPOILER ALERT* sometimes it isn't ok with me