THINGS I TELL MYSELF TO MAKE MY PURCHASING OF AN ADULT COLORING BOOK FEEL LEGIT

"Color," they said. "It'll be fun," they said.
  1. I need a new hobby.
  2. I already own colored pencils.
    "Look, you're already saving money."
  3. Look how crafty I am!
    (Extra crafty.)
  4. This will be so relaxing!
  5. Everyone says it's almost like meditating.
    Looks like I'm going to color my way to nirvana.
  6. Hmmmn. I do not own a pencil sharpener.
    Looks like color options are going to get limited...
  7. But this is such a good creative outlet!
  8. Wow I'm so good at this. It's boosting my confidence.
    I mean, a four year old can do it but I'm really making this page RIPE with color.
  9. I guess your hand starts to hurt a bit after a while.
    Who woulda thought?
  10. Why the fuck can't I stay within the lines?
    I could do this when I was four. What gives?
  11. I am really not liking the colors I chose in this one. It's starting to look bad.
    Luckily I bought a whole book and I can start from scratch on the next page!
  12. Look at that- a couple of geese!
  13. Why would an adult woman want to color in a drawing of a couple of geese, though?
    (Turns page)
  14. Oh perfect! An ocean scene.
    I don't have any sharpened blues though. Fuck!
  15. How can I be so bad at this? It's a fucking COLORING BOOK!
  16. Why aren't there any pages in here that I like?
  17. I need to go buy a pencil sharpener to make this work.
  18. I'm so stressed out. Fuck this.
  19. I need a new hobby.