Or: How To Be A Total Fucking Film Snob. Including sample sentences I've surely uttered.
  1. Los Angeles Plays Itself
    Video essay by experimental filmmaker and Cal Arts professor Thom Anderson, about the representation of Los Angeles in film. "Each time I see Los Angeles Plays Itself my love for it grows, and I find myself disagreeing with Anderson even more than that."
  2. Jean Eustache
    70s French new wave director, known best for The Mother And The Whore. "I know Jarmusch dedicated Broken Flowers to Eustache, but did you know he wrote it at a desk with only a photo of Eustache taped to the wall above it?"
  3. The Keep
    Michael Mann's artsy a.f. Nazis vs Vampires film from 1983. A film he has seemingly disowned. "After years of wearing out my bootleg tape, I finally got to see a print of The Keep at the New Bev. Dude they cranked that Tangerine Dream score!"
  4. Roy Andersson
    Swedish genius of the darkly humorous long-take. "Watch a double feature of Songs From The Second Floor and Force Majeure, and tell me it isn't obvious that Roy Andersson was Ruben Östlund's film school professor."
  5. The Landlord
    Hal Ashby's first film. "If you like Harold and Maude, you simply must see The Landlord. He had it from day one."
  6. Jacques Rivette
    French director known for some very long films. "I love Celine and Julie Go Boating, so when I saw that they would be screening Out One while I was in Vancouver, of course I dropped everything. I packed lunch and even brought a toothbrush."
  7. The Dion Brothers
    Also known as The Gravy Train. Zany 70s action-comedy starring Stacy Keach and Frederick Forest, pseudonymously written by... Terrence Malick?! Never commercially release on any home video format. "I loved The Dion Brothers when I knew it was a big influence for DGG on The Pineapple Express, but now that Tarantino has said he wants to remake it... I think I'm over it."
  8. Aki Kauriasmäki
    Finnish minimalist genius behind "The Man Without A Past."I promise you, you've confused an Iranian art film-maker with one from Finland. No. Abbas Kiarostami and Aki Kaurismäki are not the same person. No they are not."
  9. The Clock
    Christian Marclay's 24 hour-long art piece / montage of clips from other films, all revolving around the actual time of day. "I went and watched The Clock from 1pm until 3:30, and there were only seven or eight films I couldn't identify."
  10. Mikhail Kalatozov
    Soviet director noted for his seemingly impossible camera-work in such films as Soy Cuba. "Birdman and Gravity JUST use visual effects to create the APPEARANCE of a long-take. If you REALLY want to be impressed, check out The Cranes Are Flying and watch how Kalatatoz zooms that camera up the spiral staircase."
  11. The River by Jean Renoir
    Lost of not professional actors cast in leading roles, inspired The Darjeeling Limited and crazy beautiful colors shot in India.
    Suggested by @jujujerni
  12. Ulrich Seidl
    Key pretentious quote: "I liked his films better when he still bothered to pretend they were documentaries."
    Suggested by @angusisley