BIZARRE TINDER BIOS IN AUSTIN

  1. •
    "Aussie in Austin looking for cock and crack. Lol jks no crack just marijuanas"
    Virginia, 25
  2. •
    "New high score? Is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it? I enjoy a man in a bow tie. Please, no live music. Or musicians. Or tattoos. Or facial hair. Democrats need not apply."
    Mimi, 25
  3. •
    "Cane cutie looking 2 blaze and laze."
    Becca, 24
  4. •
    "Cranky dog lady. Nocturnal swamp critter. A fan of bike rides, sad movies, paperback books, and dismantling the patriarchy. ☕️🌙🌾🐊🍩"
    Lauren, 24.
  5. •
    "I like beer and I drink it a lot. I'm kinda fat. Probably from all the beer. I have horrible fashion sense. I ride my bike and like to party. My calves are probably bigger than yours. Bonus if you're not a sexist, arrogant, selfish person. 👍🏽 8 ft tall."
    Faith, 28
  6. •
    "I love sunrises, sunsets, stars, clouds, oceans, lakes, rivers...basically im obsessed with the sky. and water. I LOVE math. let's go dancing."
    Robin, 25
  7. •
    " ❤️️dadbods. Non-profit administrator and student. Excellent cook, mediocre quilter. Bikes, Brautigan, beers and butts. Also, bummer rock. That's Alan, he's not my kid. Or my boyfriend."
    Kate, 27
  8. •
    "I got mad control over my epiglottis."
    Jenniah, 26
  9. •
    "Don't call me Jessica"
    Jessica, 25
  10. •
    UPDATE: swiped right on all of these, out of curiosity (desperation). None of them were feeling your boy. It appears.