1. "Aussie in Austin looking for cock and crack. Lol jks no crack just marijuanas"
    Virginia, 25
  2. "New high score? Is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it? I enjoy a man in a bow tie. Please, no live music. Or musicians. Or tattoos. Or facial hair. Democrats need not apply."
    Mimi, 25
  3. "Cane cutie looking 2 blaze and laze."
    Becca, 24
  4. "Cranky dog lady. Nocturnal swamp critter. A fan of bike rides, sad movies, paperback books, and dismantling the patriarchy. ☕️🌙🌾🐊🍩"
    Lauren, 24.
  5. "I like beer and I drink it a lot. I'm kinda fat. Probably from all the beer. I have horrible fashion sense. I ride my bike and like to party. My calves are probably bigger than yours. Bonus if you're not a sexist, arrogant, selfish person. 👍🏽 8 ft tall."
    Faith, 28
  6. "I love sunrises, sunsets, stars, clouds, oceans, lakes, rivers...basically im obsessed with the sky. and water. I LOVE math. let's go dancing."
    Robin, 25
  7. " ❤️️dadbods. Non-profit administrator and student. Excellent cook, mediocre quilter. Bikes, Brautigan, beers and butts. Also, bummer rock. That's Alan, he's not my kid. Or my boyfriend."
    Kate, 27
  8. "I got mad control over my epiglottis."
    Jenniah, 26
  9. "Don't call me Jessica"
    Jessica, 25
  10. UPDATE: swiped right on all of these, out of curiosity (desperation). None of them were feeling your boy. It appears.