Black wool gloves. Sitting outside at a cafe in Silverlake. 6pm. Summer. 2015.
  1. Your hands are genuinely freezing.
    That doesn't make sense in this weather, but okay. I guess you have poor circulation.
  2. This is your signature "look."
    Ok. Whatever. Fuck off.
  3. You're a burn victim.
    The insides of the gloves are lined with ointment.
  4. This is a first edition.
    Those are not white cloth gloves.
  5. They're to prevent you from biting your nails.
    Interesting idea. Maybe I should try that.
  6. You purposefully want to make turning the pages of this book difficult.
    Why would you want to do that? Trying to prove wrong critics who called it a page-turner?
  7. You're a germaphobe.
    A likely story.
  8. You're starved for attention.
    I dunno, I mean how many people are even going to notice this? Wait, how long have you been sitting out here?
  9. You are blind and deaf. The fingers of the gloves are lined with sensors that scan the novel and transform it into mental images.
    That's fucking cool, bro.
  10. You take pleasure in making everything in your life more difficult than it needs to be.
    That's fucking cool, bro.
  11. You're chic af
    Suggested by @charlottery
  12. You're a hand model
    Can't risk paper cuts.
    Suggested by @joannaspicer