Things I think about before an interview.

  1. Have I had enough coffee?
  2. Have I had too much coffee?
  3. I hope they like the way I smell.
  4. I bet being fat makes me look weak.
  5. I hope the interviewer isn't some asshole I had to throw shade at in the past.
  6. If I nail this I'm gonna eat the hell out of some tacos.
  7. If I blow this I'm gonna eat the hell out of some tacos.
  8. This is pointless, I should just go eat tacos and avoid the feeling of failure when I realize they all hate me.