1. this week at work I was taking a break in the faculty lounge
  2. a lot of my coworkers are older and have been teaching at the school I work at for almost 20 years, some maybe more
  3. and as I was sitting there, listening to their random everyday conversations, I had this realization
  4. this is not where I want to be in 10 years
    I was told that if you want to get a good idea of where you might be professionally in 5 years, 10 years, just look at your coworkers who have been there for awhile
  5. I don't want to be living a life like theirs
    not that there's anything wrong with their lives, it's just that I want something more, something different from this everyday life and routine of teaching
  6. it's normal to not want to go to work sometimes, but where's the line? how much of that feeling do you tolerate?
  7. teaching is something I'm good at, and the reward is amazing. I wouldn't have done it for this long if it wasn't.
    but in my heart I know that there are so many other opportunities in different fields out there that I could do well in and excel. no matter what job I've ever had, I've always been commended for my work ethic.
  8. the thing is, I won't know what I want to do unless I get out there and try it
    teaching was never even my intention when I was in college. I majored in psych thinking I wanted to do therapy. I graduated and realized I didn't want to do that, freaked out, and took the teaching job in the meantime to not be unemployed. and teaching was related to psych anyway. figured out I was really good at it and enjoyed it and figured I was done searching
  9. I realized that I was so scared of not having a job that could potentially provide me a decent income, that I took the first tolerable job with decent pay that I found and decided I could make that my career
  10. then I realized that I don't have to stop at the first opportunity that proves to be substantial
  11. I also don't have the luxury to not be making money while I go out and look for other opportunities
  12. I just know there are plenty of other fields where I can flourish, and I won't know unless I get out there and look for it
    or get out there and have it find me
  13. and I realize that other fields I may want to try may not think I'm knowledgeable/experienced considering my degree and my previous/current work
    so I'd be lucky to find someone that would be willing to teach/train me. I'm always willing to learn new things and I know how to execute. but finding someone to take a chance on me like that is a bit wishful
  14. and now that I know that maybe I don't want to be teaching for the rest of my life
  15. I'm left wondering.....what I do want to be doing
  16. I don't even know where to start
    I've always been geared more towards the arts/media related type of work. but that's still pretty broad. this entire realization is still really fresh
  17. but at least I've been able to recognize and acknowledge where I am now
  18. and I don't even know what to do next
  19. but I feel really at peace about all of it
  20. ✨😌
    now I'm gonna go eat these blueberry pancakes I just made