THINGS THAT ARE SO MUCH BETTER AS AN "ADULT"

let's be real tho I hardly even consider myself an adult....as you can tell from all this
  1. nap time
    I was that kid that never slept at nap time. now I'm the adult that always takes naps at inconvenient times and fucks up her sleeping schedule.
  2. bouncy houses
    then there comes that point when too much booze and too many adults get involved so it turns into wrestlemania. a lot more hazardous but still just as great.
  3. secret handshakes
    your handshake skills inventory is much greater as an adult, mainly because you've lived longer and seen more shit. so adult secret handshakes can be much more elaborate and therefore way cooler than any kids' secret handshakes.
  4. cereal and milk
    because when you're an adult you can have it for dinner, which makes it taste 4959482x better imo
  5. coloring
    before this big adult coloring book boom (which I don't mind at all), I worked at a daycare in a gym and I colored almost everyday. even when there weren't any kids around. when a 5 year old sees your use of shading and gradients in basic coloring pages it definitely fucks their minds up. in a good way.
  6. bubble baths
    so much fun as a kid. but now after a long week of work, diving into a hot bubble bath is just 😌😌😌 I swoon for a tub like Tony Montana's
  7. but everything else as an adult pretty much sucks 💁🏽💁🏽💁🏽
    in terms of paying for shit, taking care of annoying errands, etc.