WEIRD DREAMS I'VE HAD

  1. Sex dream with Lady Gaga
    We did it on a hill. She was wearing a wedding dress that covered the entire hill. Like the dress was at least the size of a football field. Also, she had not one, but two penises.
  2. Purchasing Mulholland Drive
    This one happened last night. I woke up several times during the night, but kept going back to the same dream where I was purchasing the Criterion Collection edition of Mulholland Drive at a Barnes and Noble. What does it mean?! Was it really a dream? Was it an alternate reality? Did parts of it occur in Spanish? I don't even know who I am anymore.
  3. Vampires in the sewer of my hometown
    This was a recurring nightmare of my childhood, always ending with my cold, lifeless corpse being lowered into a manhole in front of the town's fire station. Always in black and white.
  4. Skateboarding around my hometown with Lady Gaga
    Why so many dreams about Gaga? And I've never actually skateboarded in my life.
  5. Murder mystery with Kanye and Nicki Minaj
    Nicki, Ye and I working together to solve a series of murders occurring at my place of employment. We spent most of our time exploring and searching for clues in some elaborate underground tunnels that covered most of the city. Never figured out who did it, so the killer remains at large. I obviously retain movie rights for this dream, so don't get any big ideas, Fincher.