1. "Did you know that they use adult jokes in kid's movies?"
  2. "I never had to read The Great Gatsby in high school, actually."
  3. "Would you mind driving Collin to the eye doctor tomorrow morning? I have to grab your sister from the airport at 10. It's not even ten minutes down the road--please, you know how she gets when she has to wait."
  4. "'Tomato Soup' is my middle name!"
  5. "I had a bowl cut until I was 11."
  6. "I make a habit of referring to all of my pre-dinner naps as 'nappetizers'"
  7. "3 A's, one -A, and a B. Happy to say I finished out my first semester as a UVM Catamount on the Dean's list!"
  8. "Yeah, your Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt really adds to your music ethos, you prick."
  9. "I've never seen a Harry Potter movie and I use this to pull rank on people."
  10. "Excited to say that I've accepted a summer internship with H&R Block!"
  11. "I've never liked anyone I've met from Charlotte, NC."