PEOPLE IN YOUR UNDERGRAD CREATIVE WRITING WORKSHOP

I mostly took fiction classes, so this might be slightly off. Please make suggestions
  1. The girl that went to Burning Man last year
  2. The Bret Easton Ellis/Ray Carver hybrid
  3. The guy that takes a really firm stance on some aesthetic principal but clearly has done none of the reading.
    Poetry workshops only.
  4. The girl that writes incredible microfiction, but nothing else
  5. Parodic Dickens
    Usually really, really funny
  6. The guy that has read nothing except Chuck Palahniuk
    gross black mane and long, scraggly facial hair and wears a leather jacket and/or Judas Priest shirt
  7. The girl that dresses like Zadie Smith
    But writes sort of like Carver
  8. The 63 year old woman
    Very nice and fiction was really personal
  9. The LBGTQ+ witch
    Her description of a coven rape scene just blows you the fuck away
  10. The sonnet guy
    Poetry workshops only. Writing absolutely pristine. His criticism usually involves economy and form. He has an Afro.
  11. The sorority girl that writes really, genuinely good fiction but is actually a journalism major
  12. The sorority girl that writes really, genuinely bad fiction and is doing an English/English Ed dual degree
  13. Fake David Foster Wallace
    One of his first five sentences are footnoted. Admits he has only read Brief Interviews With Hideous Men. Doesn't know how to properly use the "footnote" function on MS Word, so his notes are just sort of part of the text at the bottom of the page
  14. Theodor Adorno
    Clearly hates everyone's work. Writing mostly centered around aphorisms.
  15. The Rustic Southern folk-person
  16. C.A. Conrad
    (But only once because he was doing a lecture the next day)