Silliest Things I've Done

A running list of un-smart things I've done. I swear I'm non-dumb. What are the most reverse-intelligent things you've done?
  1. I googled what "Cinco de Mayo" meant...on May 4th.
    Immediately felt like an idiot.
  2. I tried to unlock my apartment door by pressing the unlock button on my car keys.
    It did not work. I've done this at least 3 times
  3. When I was little my mom was ironing and had to leave the room to answer the phone...she told me, "DO NOT TOUCH THE IRON, IT'S HOT" then left...
    Promptly placed entire hand on iron. Burnt the shit out of my hand.
  4. Completely ran out of money in Europe and immediately went to the airport and flew home.
    It was in college. I checked my bank account, saw negative dollars, didn't have a credit card or parents who would wire me money. Used my remaining Euros to take a cab and was on a plane two hours later. Why I did not check my bank account before going to Europe I'll never know.
  5. Got almost-robbed at machete-point on a deserted beach in Tanzania...
    And I had everything in the one backpack on my back (money, cameras, passport). SO SILLY, DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE. Somehow escaped, long story, ask me about it in person.
  6. Dressed in full drag to impersonate/mock my female high school vice principal during Homecoming class sketches my sophomore year...
    Immediately became school hero for the next week, also immediately almost got suspended (talked them down to like, 3 weeks of detention). Background: each class put on a skit in front of the whole school during homecoming week...we presented a fake skit to our advisors then performed a different one. Also...vice principal, if you're listening, I'M SO SORRY!
  7. To be continued...