DATING IN SILICON VALLEY

  1. People talk about dating as a funnel optimization problem
  2. There's always a chance a date is actually a recruiting pitch and vice versa
  3. People write anonymous questions on Quora to ask how to know if you are interested
  4. SLAs must be defined for texting response times
  5. Arguments about whether text volume is appropriate (or too low) are resolved by you writing a query against your iMessages SQLite database to rank all contacts by message count
  6. You are obligated to use the app that the other person is building
    Even if other people question your taste in tech products!! Okay sorry for the sublist, xo
  7. White guys love Asian girls
  8. Tech bros are super into polyamory as an excuse for Peter Pan syndrome
  9. "Friends" who have started or work at dating app companies snoop on your profile and activity
  10. I think I need to move out of SF