5 Reasons Why I Hate Your Children
- •Sticky fucking fingersI shouldn't feel like I'm being touched by a bundle of BBQ cocktail weenies.
- •Stupid fucking questions"Why do socks gets lost?" Because go to hell.
- •Blank fucking staresKids look like they're alien news anchors staring at a blank teleprompter.
- •Shitty fucking parentsWhen your kid has thrown seventeen French fries into my frozen margarita, your first response is NOT to laugh and shrug like Carol and Greg Brady.
- •No fucking pointI'm gonna be real. Children are objectively useless until they either get strong enough to carry stuff or smart enough to move out and leave us alone.