Requested by Bailey

How to Avoid FOBA

As requested by @bailey and @brynelle I publish my first list about FOBA. FOBA is a problem faced by many people in the world today. It may even be considered to be an epidemic. What is it you ask? Fear of being alone. This is an umbrella term that can really apply to any situation where you are without companion. Here's some ways to avoid it.
  1. Send out mass individualized texts about doing stuff.
    No one likes to be spammed as a cog in a group.
  2. Play athletic sports.
    Athletic sports cannot be played alone, like soccer or football. However, avoid the sports that can be played alone, like bowling or golf.
  3. Play video games.
    You must play sports video games or games that are more fun to play with other people. Avoid those computer games unless you are playing Nancy Drew .
  4. Leech on to someone's life force.
    First, find that person who is super fun and always down. Then bide your time and always make yourself present at all of their events. You will eventually become an integral part of their group plans.
  5. Get a significant other.
    This is pretty much a guaranteed cure for FOBA. If the significant other is busy, you have the rest of this list to help you out.
  6. Always have a roommate.
    Your roommate is almost always guaranteed to keep you company at night. They have to return home at some point.
  7. Be close friends with someone who is incredibly popular.
    You'll always get that invite to go somewhere where there are a lot of people.
  8. Always have your phone with you
    Avoids loneliness on the toilet and in the most dire of situations, you call your mom.
  9. Don't eat in public places alone, especially the dining hall
    Order in instead, or persuade friends to eat out with you, offering to pay their meal. Warning, this can make FOBA expensive.
  10. Always buy a round of drinks.
    Makes you indispensable when going out.
  11. Act as a bridge between friend groups.
    Being this bridge makes you a buffer. In situations where two friend groups are hanging out and have not become close yet, the lack of your presence makes things more uncomfortable.
  12. Get a group of people to schedule TV time every week for shows.
    Game of Thrones, Silicon Valley, New Girl. Same time, every week.