Things I Don't Believe In

  1. Liquid calories
  2. Flavored salt
  3. Group projects
  4. Wiki as a verb
  5. Pitbull
  6. Jack Kerouac
  7. Hawaiian pizza
  8. Promise rings
  9. Burgers in the sandwich section of a menu
  10. Restaurants that don't put salt and pepper on the table
  11. People who raise their hands backward
  12. Floating dance parties
  13. Signing emails "cheers"
  14. Vacation friends
  15. That Kerri strug was actually hurt in the 96 Olympics
  16. When waiters don't write down orders
  17. People linking yearly to "It's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers"
  18. Santacon
  19. Beyonce lipsynching at the inauguration
  20. Barefoot running sneakers
  21. Keith Haring
  22. Bread bowls
  23. Baked by Melissa
  24. Getting really into "Mexican coca-cola"
  25. When bands ask if you want to hear their new songs
    We don't
  26. The phrase "an abundance of caution"
  27. Toxins
    Suggested by   @roseschlossberg
  28. Vine
    Suggested by   @roseschlossberg
  29. Pescatarian
    Suggesting on your behalf because I know you don't believe in this
    Suggested by   @roseschlossberg
  30. We can't seat you until your whole party is present
    Suggested by   @roseschlossberg
  31. Tapas/small plates
    "We do things a little differently here."
  32. John Legend and Chrissy Teigens relationship
    Suggested by   @roseschlossberg
  33. That anyone ever uses QR codes
    Suggested by   @roseschlossberg
  34. The phrase "all the feels"