Things on my Resume I Really Wish were True: Fantasy Edition
If only I could be as amazing as my resume thinks I am...
- •Composer, lyricist, and star of the smash Broadway hit "Hamilton"Also won Pulitzer Prize for same
- •Mother of the YearThis is an actual prize. You should look it up. I have a certificate. It is a real thing.
- •Fluent in French, Italian, Portuguese...Well, all the Romance languages, really. #thankslatin
- •Winner of Top ChefI host a kids cooking competition now.
- •Fitness personalityCheck out my YouTube channel MotherOfSixPack for weekly routines lesser mortals can only dream of doing. You'll never look like me, but you can loathe yourself while you wish you did.
- •Increased profit margin by 16%Well...we did stop giving away free samples and they fired overpaid Bob. It did happen while I was there, so it counts. Right?Suggested by @cory222