Observations made during my second summer as a law clerk for the DA's office.
  1. Ask anyone wearing a suit for legal advice.
    My answer every time: "I can't give you legal advice." Fun fact: I probably don't even know the answer anyway because I'm completely faking that I even sort of know what's going on right now.
  2. Show up for DUII diversion clearly hungover.
    And he or she will probably still get to enter diversion.
  3. Bring their kids to their court hearing.
    Please don't do this.
  4. Tell the judge that their name is spelled wrong on some document they were given - in hopes that that somehow negates the charges.
    It doesn't.
  5. Just a lot of public crying, screaming, fighting.
    It's sad, but it's still weird and makes everyone uncomfortable.