ACROSS THE UNIVERSE: PLANETS OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM, RANKED

This list was inspired by Sleeping At Last's songs about the solar system (should that be capitalized? I don't know)
  1. 1.
    Saturn
    Saturn has always been my favorite. Back in the day, it was because I thought it was pretty, but now I think it seems mysterious, which appeals to me.
  2. 2.
    Neptune
    I think of Neptune as being cold and lonely, like if it were a human, it would be closed off and emotionally distant because it doesn't like to let people (planets) get close to it. Neptune has a lot of trust issues, and it wants to get over them, but it doesn't know how. Because of this, it keeps to itself a lot. Basically Neptune reminds me of me because I'm insane and assign human traits to things like planets.
  3. 3.
    Pluto
    Pluto will always be a planet to me. I mean...it was a planet for forever before they stripped that away, and yeah I get that it doesn't really meet the criteria for planetdom, but why couldn't it have been grandfathered in?
  4. 4.
    Earth
    To be honest, based solely on aesthetics, earth would probably be first. Unfortunately, it's full of literal trash, and by that I mean the human race. We suck.
  5. 5.
    Uranus
    I wish people hadn't made a joke out of Uranus's name. It doesn't deserve that.
  6. 6.
    Venus
    I like the idea of the deity Venus better than the planet itself. But I guess the name is fitting for a planet full of deadly, poisonous gas because love can kill you just as much as Venus the planet can. Was that too melodramatic?
  7. 7.
    Mercury
    I kind of forget about Mercury sometimes. It's too close to the sun for my taste.
  8. 8.
    Mars
    Mars is so overrated, and it's not even a pretty planet. There's just red everywhere. No thanks.
  9. 9.
    Jupiter
    Same, only at least Mars might be livable one day. But who would want to live in a ball of gas full of raging, never ending storms?