Twice now in recent days, I've had nightmares about kangaroos. I don't know why.
  1. Okay so the first one was kind of brief.
  2. In the dream, I was in Australia (naturally), and the kangaroo started running at me in the distance.
  3. At first I didn't know what it was, and then as it got closer I wasn't scared because, you know, dream me was thinking that kangaroos were cute.
    I would learn a valuable lesson by the end of the dream.
  4. When it got to me, the kangaroo immediately grabbed my shirt and pulled me toward it.
    And this son of a bitch was STRONG, like freakishly so. I had no chance against it.
  5. Although I struggled to break free, the kangaroo wasn't going to let me go.
  6. It proceeded to try and shove me into its pouch.
    This might now sound terrifying, but in the dream IT SO WAS.
  7. The kangaroo shoved me into its pouch head first, and I couldn't breathe.
  8. Before I suffocated, I woke up.
  9. The second dream is slightly more elaborate.
    It's also much weirder. Yes, really.
  10. In the dream, I was in the house from the climax of Scream.
    You know, Stu's house where all the shit goes down at the end.
  11. It was night, and there were dead bodies everywhere.
    And I was on the second floor. This is relevant later.
  12. I was running through the house because Ghostface was chasing me.
    You know, the killer from the movie.
  13. And he had A KNIFE!!!
    I actually have dreams pretty frequently where I'm being chased by someone with a knife and/or am stabbed. I know exactly where that comes from too, but that is not the point of the dream.
  14. Anyway, so Ghostface corners me, but somehow I manage to take his mask off without being stabbed.
    Guess who the killer turned out to be.
  15. It was a motherfucking kangaroo.
  16. There was a moment where the kangaroo and I just stared at each other because I was in shock at the killer's identity, and I presume it was in shock at having been unmasked.
  17. Then the kangaroo tried to stab me.
  18. I managed to avoid the knife, but the kangaroo kicked me in the abdomen.
  19. I crashed through a nearby window and soared through the air.
    As I was falling to the ground below, I woke up.
  20. So yeah. Apparently I have a kangaroo fear.
    It wasn't enough that I'm afraid of birds and small dogs. My brain had to add this one to the mix too.
  21. My brain is so weird.