THE TIME I ALMOST GOT KICKED OUT OF COLLEGE

  1. It was an experience, let me tell you.
  2. So it was my first semester of my fourth and final year of college, the Monday of finals week.
    I sailed through my first three years, but the final year was very intensive and quite rigorous.
  3. For my final year, I only had two teachers who taught everything, C and S (I don't want to use their full names). C was in charge.
    She also taught most of our classes, so our only final for S was on Monday of finals week.
  4. Anyway, we had to look at medical images on this X-ray illuminator thing (I don't know what it's called)
    The teacher couldn't have us all up there at the same time, so we had to take turns. If we were done with the rest of the test and were just waiting, we weren't allowed to get anything out to occupy our time. S suggested we draw on the back of our test if we were bored, which seemed kind of childish to be honest.
  5. Nevertheless, that's what I did.
    The test was hard as fuck, let me tell you. Like it was one of the most exhausting tests I had ever taken. So when it came time for me to "occupy my time," I drew a picture of, umm...the test killing us. Well to be fair, the test wasn't ACTUALLY killing us...because we were already dead. It had shot us, and we were being buried.
  6. Now I know this sounds really bad, but it was just stick figures, like it was not elaborate at all. It was just meant to be funny, and anyone who knows me knows I'm very non-violent.
    The prior Friday, I had drawn a picture of me shooting Clay Aiken - another stick figure drawing, and it's a long story of how this came up - but C laughed at that one.
  7. Anyway, when I was done with my test, I took it to S and pointed out my picture because, again, it was supposed to be funny.
    S laughed, and that was that, or so I thought.
  8. During college, I worked as a writing tutor, and my final year I was the head of tutoring center (or the student manager more accurately).
    That final was the only one I had on Monday, and I was working in the tutoring center afterwards. It was a couple hours later when the assistant dean Dr. D came to fetch me. He said the Dean wanted to talk to me.
  9. Naturally I was a little nervous, and I asked if I was in trouble. Dr. D said no.
    Now at the time, the professor in charge of the tutoring center Dr. R and I were making some changes, so I thought this meeting might be about that. Indeed, Dr. D and I even discussed this on the way to the Dean's office.
  10. I walked into the Dean's office, and the head of security was sitting in there. That should have been my first clue something was afoot.
    But I was thinking, Oh, he's going to leave, he must have just been talking with the Dean about something before I got here. But then Dr. D closed the door, and the security guard didn't leave. That's when I began to feel uneasy.
  11. Then I looked at the Dean's desk and saw my picture, and I was thinking, "well, I'm fucked."
    I mean, there was only one reason why he would have it.
  12. And yeah, turns out my teachers turned me in to him because of the picture, and he was PISSED.
    The Dean spent like ten full minutes screaming at me about "what the fuck was I thinking?" and "you could have fucked up your entire life with this" and "how could you be so stupid" etc etc etc. He also told me He should just have me arrested. It was excruciating.
  13. So when the Dean was finally done yelling at me, he told me I was done for the day and that the security guard was going to escort me out to my car.
    He also said "we'll decide if you can come back to school tomorrow." Keep in mind that this was finals week.
  14. So I walked with Dr. D and the guard back to the tutoring center because I needed to get my stuff, and I had a panic attack, like to worst one I have ever had.
    I had to sit on the ground because I couldn't see, everything was blurry, and I couldn't feel my arms or legs.
  15. Dr. D tried to comfort me.
    In hindsight, this was the first indication that not everyone agreed with what was happening and how it was being handled. He kept saying, "It'll be okay, we'll figure everything out." I always mention Dr. D in this story because he really was so good to me throughout it.
  16. I was escorted through the school and to my car in full view of a ton of other students.
    So that was fun. By that point though, I was feeling pretty numb. The guard stood in the parking lot and didn't go back inside until he saw me leave the premises.
  17. On the way home, I called my teachers and asked why they had done what they did.
    Then I had a nervous breakdown as I was talking to C and had to pull over.
  18. Then I called my parents and told them, and they were PISSED.
    Not at me though - they were mad at the school. They even called the lawyer because we were going to sue the fuck out of that place if I got expelled.
  19. I didn't tell any of the people in school at first.
    There were only nine of us in my program (it is extremely hard to get into), so most of us were pretty close. I texted my friend Corey (yes, almost exactly the same name as me), and he was basically like "what the actual fuck?" Same Corey, same.
  20. A little bit later, Dr. D called me.
    He told me that they had talked to some of the teachers and staff who knew me (he left it vague), and they all vouched for me. I only know for sure that they talked to my boss, Dr. R, but I suspect they talked to the former assistant dean, Dr. F, who I was on good terms with. Everyone they talked to said I would never do anything like this, and Dr. D just expressed the seriousness of what I had done and said I couldn't do it again (as if I would)
  21. Then he wished me good luck on the rest of my finals, and I remembered I still had to study.
    That was fun, as you can imagine after the stress of the day.
  22. That's when I finally texted all my classmates, and they were absolutely flabbergasted.
    They could not believe that C and S had done that.
  23. The next day I had a final with C bright and early, and I was dreading seeing her.
    While I was waiting for the class to begin Dr. D showed up and asked to talk to me. Naturally I was expecting the worst.
  24. Turns out he just wanted to make sure I was alright.
    Dr. D said he knew I had had an extremely stressful day made worse by it being finals week, and he was just checking on me. He really was so good to me, I can't say that enough.
  25. Then C came in, and I refused to look at her.
    In fact, I didn't look at C or S for the rest of the week or directly address them at all.
  26. The whole day, security was following me around.
    They knew I had other finals that day, and everywhere I went, security was there. Like they didn't even try to hide it; it was extremely obvious.
  27. I went and talked to Dr. R to make sure he didn't think I was a psychopath.
    He didn't, and he was like "I told them that there was absolutely no way you would ever EVER do anything like that."
  28. I told Dr. R I was glad it was over.
    But then he said, "well it's probably not over yet." He told me I'd probably have to meet with someone soon about this. So I emailed Dr. D and asked him, and he confirmed that yes, I'll have to have a meeting with the disciplinary committee.
  29. On Wednesday, the committee called me to set up a meeting time.
    It was to be after my last final on Friday and my end of semester meeting with C and S (we did that every semester).
  30. On Thursday, the guards followed me around all day again.
    They did on Friday too.
  31. The last final came, and S had gotten us all Christmas gifts to take once we were done.
    I left mine in there. I wasn't taking anything from either of them.
  32. Then it was time for my meeting with C and S.
    C did most of the talking, telling me why it was wrong. I asked why they didn't just talk to me personally or at least warn me. C said there wasn't enough time, that it all happened so fast. I told her it had been several hours since the time she turned me in and the time they came to get me, and I asked how that wasn't enough time. She didn't have an answer for me.
  33. I had heard the janitors talking about how unstable I was earlier in the week, and other staff members were avoiding me.
    I asked if it had gotten around, and they said yes, once I had been escorted through the school by security, pretty much everyone knew. So that was fantastic.
  34. I asked S why she had laughed at the picture if it was such a big deal.
    S lied and said she didn't, and that's when something happened inside me. I was done being passive about this, and I became pretty sarcastic and acerbic with them. I told S, "um, YES you did," but she just denied it.
  35. Then I asked C why she laughed at my Clay Aiken drawing, and she said she didn't.
    So by this point I was pissed as fuck. I said, "YES YOU DID!" I was furious. C said, "No I didn't, I told you not to draw pictures like that anymore." I rolled my eyes and snapped, "Oh, okay C, whatever you say."
  36. I was put on probation and had to sign a form about what I had done.
    On the form, C also wrote about the Clay Aiken picture, and she said, "Just be glad I didn't write about the time you drew the comet shooting down from the sky on us" that I had drawn earlier in the semester. Apparently I got bored a lot. I said, "Well, I'm glad you didn't C because that would be ridiculous since I don't have the power to summon a comet from the sky."
  37. C laughed as if I were making a joke.
    I told her, "I'm not trying to be funny, it really would be stupid." I don't think she or S expected me to come out swinging because neither of them knew how to react.
  38. After I signed, C went to copy the form, leaving S and me alone.
    S tried to talk to me, sort of like apologize without admitting any wrong doing, and she did seem genuinely sorry. It was then that I knew C had bullied her into turning me in. I said nothing, and C walked back in; S stopped talking mid-sentence.
  39. Then it was time for the meeting with the committee.
    They were much nicer than the Dean (it was two ladies), and they didn't even have security come in. They did say they maybe should have called the police.
  40. I played nice with them and was very apologetic because I knew they had my future in their hands.
    They said I wouldn't be allowed back to school next semester until I had a "lethality assessment" by a licensed psychologist to prove that I wasn't "a threat to myself or others."
  41. On New Year's Eve, I went to a psychologist, Dr. G.
    I told him my whole story of why I was there, and he was just quiet. "That's it?" he asked. "That's why your here?" I said yes. "Just for a drawing?" Yes again. "Was it detailed?" No, it was stick figures. He was quiet again and then just said, "Alright, if that's what they want" as if it was the stupidest thing ever. Same, Dr. G, same.
  42. I looked at ink blots with him, and they all looked like wolves and demons and bugs.
    I lied and said they looked like nice things.
  43. Then I had to take a 350 question test.
    It asked a bunch of random questions, like normal stuff, but then it would throw in a random question like "are you ever possessed by demons who tell you what to do?" I of course said no to those ones.
  44. There were also a lot of questions about being a florist and plants.
    I knew from Buffy that that is supposedly code for crazy, and I said no to those ones.
  45. In the end, Dr. G called me a few days later and said I could go back.
    After that, C and S kind of kissed my ass to get me to like them again. I pretended that I did, and I do kind of like S because I know now she was forced into this (I still see her at work sometimes because we have students from the program). But I never trusted either of them again.
  46. And that was the story of how I almost got kicked out of college.
    It was the first and last time I ever got in trouble in school.