VALENTINE'S DAY BLIZZARD 2007

Also known as the only time Valentine's Day hasn't been total bullshit.
  1. Something you should know about me: I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day.
    And by "not a fan" I mean "hate with burning fury of a thousand raging suns."
  2. This has been true for most of my life.
    I get why people like it, and I'm not begrudging you, but much like meat, the color orange, black licorice, and Kevin Bacon (among other things), it's just not for me.
  3. That being said, there IS one Valentine's Day I remember fondly.
    It was Valentine's Day 2007, as the title of this list indicates.
  4. Picture it: the night of the 13th into the morning of this wretched day, a blizzard hammers Northeast Ohio, and it results in something my high school teachers suggested was something akin to finding a unicorn.
    They always said you don't get snow days in college, but real talk, they lied. I got a snow day at least once every year I was in college, and this wasn't even the first of the year (FYI this was my second semester of my freshman year of college).
  5. We got a snow day.
    And with good reason because it was HORRIBLE outside. Any school that didn't close should have been ashamed of themselves to be honest.
  6. To celebrate being free for the day and also being single on the worst holiday ever, my friends Lynsi, Emily, and I decided to go sled riding.
    We were also celebrating the snow, which granted Emily a respite from a test she would have had to take.
  7. Another thing you should know about me: I have horrible luck sled riding.
  8. So we went to this park near Lynsi's house (she drove us in her little Cavalier that had no business being on the road in such weather, but this is not the last time we would find ourselves in such a situation).
    The next time it happened it was at night and super icy. What can I say, we were idiots.
  9. When I was exhausted just walking up the hill ONCE, I should have known this was a mistake.
    The snow was just so deep. So deep. And it was frigid out too, which didn't help.
  10. Nevertheless, we had a lot of fun, albeit short-lived fun because we lasted less than an hour.
    By that point we were all basically dying. Emily had the idea to go down the hill one last time on the same sled, the three of us sitting in a row.
  11. So that's what we did.
    We went down the hill together, which means we hit the ramp together, the ramp we didn't notice someone had made out of snow until it was too late.
  12. We hit that ramp hard.
    And it was a good ramp because it launched us into the air, and we went flying. We separated, the three of us soaring in different directions.
  13. It was fun until we landed.
    Then it hurt like hell. I hit pretty hard, landing on my hip on the hard-packed snow.
  14. For awhile, we just laid there, tired and hurting and regretting our life choices.
    Eventually we managed to get up and make it back to the car.
  15. Alas, Lynsi's car was stuck, meaning two of us would have to push it while the third stepped on the gas and steered.
    I argued that since I was undoubtedly the most hurt (I was limping kind of badly) that I should have been the one driving. The girls did not agree, and somehow Emily ended up in the driver's seat (seriously, I don't know how this happened because it wasn't even her car. But whatever).
  16. We got the car unstuck and then went to Taco Bell/Long John Silver's.
    I got the fiesta potatoes and two hush puppies because that was basically all I could eat at either place.
  17. The next day, I looked like hell, covered in bruises and still limping.
    Thank God we had another snow day. I needed it to recover.
  18. Even the day after when I finally went back to school, I was STILL limping. I was seriously considering going to the doctor at this point.
    My pals in my Honors Colloquium class (which is where I met Lynsi) were just like, what the hell happened to you two? We recounted our experience to them like we had been through a trauma, which we kind of had.
  19. The moral of this story is that if you're exhausted by the time you get up the sled riding hill the first time, you probably should reconsider your choice of recreational activity.
    Also the moral is that my most likely cause of death will be a tragic sled riding incident.