RELATIONSHIP MILESTONES ACCORDING TO SOCIAL MEDIA

They say that Hallmark makes a card for everything, but social media makes a thing out of everything. It's no longer possible to date, progress in your relationship, and eventually marry without making a huge show of it.
  1. Prom Proposals
    Today's high schoolers have been on social media for several years now so they aren't strangers to the ridiculous rituals heavily documented on Facebook and the like. Teenagers can no longer just ask their crush/boyfriend/girlfriend to the dance in the hallway between classes, instead they have to plan an elaborate "proposal" for low key events such as homecoming.
  2. Facebook Official
    You can't leave things undefined in this new world dominated by social media. Everyone knows it's not official until it's Facebook official.
  3. The Proposal
    Hope you didn't set the bar too high in high school because getting down on one knee to ask someone to marry you is no longer good enough. Now you need to coordinate a flash mob, plan a surprise party, hire a skywriter, take a fancy trip, or build a smartphone app. And don't forget the photographer!
  4. Spread the Word
    The best way to let those who didn't witness your engagement know about it is to post a picture of the ring with the following caption: "I said YES!!!!!"
  5. Engagement Photos
    It's a great time to be a photographer because this is the first of many photoshoots happy couples will sit for in the coming years. No more cheesy Olan Mills studio portraits to run in the Sunday paper, this is a multiple outfit multiple location shoot. Questions we ask while viewing these pics: Does everyone frolic in fields with their S.O. or walk hand in hand on train tracks?
  6. Will you be my bridesmaid?
    If prom and marriage proposals weren't enough now you have to propose to your bridesmaids in a clever/expensive manner.
  7. The Hashtag
    As if enough professional photos weren't already taken at the wedding, guests now have to document the great time they had on your magical day via a cutesy hashtag. Just let them eat cake! That's why they're there.
  8. Trash the Dress?!
    Have you heard of this? This is the biggest WTF of all.