A list of reactions during the 2017 Oscars in real time

brought to you by the bottle of Pinot I plan on consuming while watching
  1. I wish I was lying when I say I started crying when Nicole Kidman was walking the red carpet
    I'm still emotionally recovering from Lion. And that Armani dress was a religious experience itself.
  2. I kind of wish Damien Chazelle was a bit of an arrogant asshole
    If anyone has the right to be pompous, it's him. And it's frustratingly annoying how humble he is during interviews. Bully for you, man!
  3. If Justin Timberlake asked me to sell my soul to him I wouldn't even hesitate
  4. Killer monologue and seamless delivery from Mr. Kimmel
    And an A+ beard as well
  5. And now we're crying during the acceptance speech montage
    and furthermore just crying during the announcing of supporting actor nominees. Preparing for 3 consecutive hours of tears at this point
  6. Bill Paxton in the Rolex commercial
    Holy shit I am not okay
  7. Never thought I would say it but....
    The Rock is kinda doing it for me these days....got a sexy gentle giant thing going on
  8. I've had a lot of wine
  9. "Opposing without hatred"
    SNAPS Mark Rylance
  10. LET THAT SNOT FLOW VIOLA NEVER STOP SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "We are the only profession that celebrates what it means to live a life"
  11. Honest to God forgot Passengers and Hail Caesar were movies this year
    Whoops
  12. Images that apparently only take a single frame to trigger tears
    Gene Wilder & Lion
  13. I wish I had Sunny Pawar's smile
  14. I want to put my wine mouth on Dev Patel's non-wine mouth
  15. WE MAKE MOVIES IN SEARCH OF A DEEPER TRUTH
    KWEEN MERYL
  16. A part of me is ashamed of how drunk I have gotten watching this
    But I'm telling myself Chrissy Teigen is drunker and suddenly I'm okay with this series of events
  17. I've already lost all my water weight in tears...
    The in memoriam montage has since caused severe dehydration
  18. I hope all the viewers at home understand the running gag between Jimmy and Matt
    Because this whole night has been brilliant by playing with this joke
  19. MANCHESTAH WITH THE OSCAH
    So well deserved. So so so well deserved.
  20. The Best Adapted Screenplay award to Moonlight is so important
    So. So. So. Important. Thank you to the academy. You did this one so right.
  21. Damien Chazelle just kicked in the door for so many young & aspiring directors/filmmakers/artists/dreamers/believers
    Thank you.
  22. Casey Affleck was able to give an emotionally moving performance while portraying a numbness unlike anything we've seen. It was heart wrenching, unforgettable, and struck a nerve in every audience member.
    Yes, to this award for Best Actor
  23. The character of Mia was arguably not a reach for Emma Stone. The ability deliver an authentic performance based on personal experiences and transcend the screen IS talent though. She put her hand on every struggling artists shoulder and showed them the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Yes, to this award for Best Actress
  24. I'm pretty sure I'm only drunk..not high...what is happening?
    Best Picture.
  25. Moral of the story: it was an amazingly great year for film. Every picture had a shot at standing up there at the end of the night!
    Congratulations Moonlight and La La Land Lion and Hidden Figures and Hacksaw Ridge and Hell or High Water and Manchester by the Sea and Fences and Arrival
  26. And congratulations Jimmy Kimmel!