Misconceptions I Had As A Child

  1. The teachers slept at the school
    THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE!
  2. The world was black and white like the pictures
  3. John Goodman was in Cheers
    NORM!!
  4. Manhattan was New York State
    What is this "upstate" you speak of? And boroughs? Blasphemy.
  5. The process required to become pregnant
    Remember when Michael Scott declared bankruptcy? That's how I thought pregnancy worked. So I marked a calendar for my "due date" along with the weight/inches/sex of my future child and thus "planned" my pregnancy for the next month. The panic set it after I ironically contracted a stomach bug and had a nasty case of "morning sickness". I was terrified to tell my parents.
  6. Dr. Phil played Tom Hanks' father in You've Got Mail
    Jury is honestly still out on that one. I refuse to believe that Dabney Coleman is not just a stage name.