1. I Don't Know Why I Did This
  2. I Only Trust Rotten Tomatoes
  3. I Spent Months Curating The Perfect Disco Playlist But Wrote My Essay 20 minutes Ago At IHOP
  4. What Do You Do When The Only Job You Can Get Is Being A Cult Leader?
  5. How to Make Friends And Get Them To Do Things You Wouldn't Even Do
  6. Why Am I Inclined To Make All My Book Titles So Long
  7. I Don't Know What My Tshirt Says I Bought It In Japan And I Think It's Cute
  8. How To Dress Like A Jewish Lumberjack (and other style tips)
  9. Mastering The Art Of Pretending To Master An Art
  10. I haven't Brushed My Hair In Years and Other Atrocities
  11. Yes I Know I've Got 4 inches of Split Ends But I'm Not Cutting My Hair