MY COMMUTE: BY THE NUMBERS
It's Monday, mofos.
- •Traffic lights: 5
- •Times I can listen to Sorry Latino Remix: 2 exactly
- •Bagel shops tempting me from the wrong side of the highway: 2
- •Jug handles that would allow me to turn the fuck around and go back to bed: 3
- •Bars I believe to be haunted by the ghost of my high school gym teacher, Mr. Fleming: 1