YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

  1. To always accept an invitation to all you can eat sushi
    But I'm gonna order 25 pieces of salmon sashimi for myself and I'm not gonna help anyone eat their fancy rolls. Your girl isn't here to fill up on rice
  2. To watch the SVU marathon with you
    Any season, any time.
  3. To babysit or dog sit
    Please help me temporarily fill these holes in my heart
  4. To buy everything Nate Berkus makes for Target
  5. To never have cash on my person
  6. To have to move a pile of garbage/shoes/nail polish to my back seat so someone can ride shotgun
  7. To refuse to go out once I've removed my bra
    I can't lock myself in boob jail twice in one day.
  8. To listen to every new remix of Justin Bieber's Sorry
    And fucking love it
  9. To remember obscure facts from Pop Up Video
  10. To be single when all my friends are in relationships
  11. To repeat myself exactly once and then say never mind
  12. To eat about 2 boxes of Morningstar breakfast sausage per week
  13. To spend 4+ years searching for the perfect black leather jacket
    The search continues
  14. To look cute with any haircut
    It's a gift
  15. To actually swim in the ocean when visiting the beach
  16. To be wearing leggings as pants
  17. To be chronically dehydrated
    Coffee plz
  18. To wear zero make up on days I want to be left alone at work
    It works 85% of the time
  19. To order tomato juice on a plane
  20. To cry during particularly sweet commercials
  21. To make flawless over easy eggs
    I learned how from Masterchef Junior and have been unstoppable ever since