THINGS I ASKED MYSELF IN THE LAST 5 MIN

  1. Did that piece of chocolate make it into my mouth, or did it go down my shirt?
  2. When is a good time to introduce myself to my neighbors that moved in 3 weeks ago and I've already seen several times?
  3. Are these "super grippy" socks going to be grippy enough for my indoor surfboard balance exercise yoga class tomorrow morning?
  4. Did that Walgreens cashier want to bone me even though I look like messy trash right now?
  5. That's definitely rain, right? It can't be an intruder pissing with the pee strength of an ox, right?
  6. Am I being the best possible dog mom I can be?