MUTES ON MUTES ON MUTES

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    Ok, part two since the discussion for the last list has been so interesting. It occurred to me that I could share something about myself that perfectly exemplifies the whole "loyalty & support" approach to social media.
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    I was talking to a friend awhile back, after the election, & I was saying that for a long time, my best kept secret (lolz) on social media is that I had everybody I followed on Twitter muted. Like, everybody...except a small handful of accounts - my mom & sis, my best friend, Questlove, Cameron Crowe, Cookie Monster. I think that's mostly it.
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    And my justification was that I have a tendency to get really easily overwhelmed by a very jam-packed news feed that takes an hour to read through a few times a day. And I don't really do notifications for anyone's posts anywhere either.
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    So obviously, for a long time my Twitter "following" had very, very few celebs - cuz what's the point of following a celeb if they're muted? It's not for support, cuz they're not gonna notice your single follow (as folks pointed out in the previous list).
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    I mostly just followed people I knew IRL or online because I liked them and wanted to show the *support* of following them, even if they didn't view a social media follow as support or as something all that important in the first place. It was about MY view of it being support.
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    And here's the interesting/odd part of how I functioned with the "mute everybody" approach: Just because I muted people doesn't mean I didn't like things or interact. What I would do is this: Anytime a person popped into my head when I was browsing social media, I would go to their Twitter and catch up on tweets.
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    So people would often get a whole string of likes, retweets, & responses all at once. And I said to my friend, when we were talking about this, "So it's like a compliment if someone gets a bunch of likes from me all of a sudden, cuz I didn't just see something in my feed - I had to actually think of them and visit their page."
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    And my friend replied, "Nathan, that's one of the weirdest things you've ever told me." πŸ€“
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    Anyway, once the election started heating up last fall, I decided to change my approach to Twitter, because I didn't want to miss people sharing important things. So I went through my following list and unmuted almost everybody. And started following more organizations and celebs. Basically, I just decided to live with a crazy ass Twitter feed.
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    I still don't have notifications on for anyone anywhere, not even here. And muting only has a real purpose for me on List now - I mute the folks I don't get along with or have any kind of baggage with, because even seeing their names in the curated feed - when one of you likes their list - can sometimes give me intense anxiety and/or rage πŸ™ƒ
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    There's no mute option on IG, which I think ties into an interesting phenomenon - I've been unfollowed by friends (not just online but IRL too) on IG WAAAAAY more often than I've been unfollowed by people on other social media.
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    And I think the lack of a mute option on IG is a big part of it - if someone thinks I post too often or is tired of my face or thinks I'm insufferable or gets "flipped" by a group chat bully (lol) or whatever, the only options are either unfollowing me or scrolling past me.
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    And if anyone else gets as overwhelmed as I get by having TOO MUCH STUFF TO SEE on social media, I can totally understand the sort of frustrated, hasty impulse of "UGH enough already...unfollow." Whereas on Twitter, List, etc, you can just mute a person but keep giving them the "support of a follow," if you want.
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    One area I'd love to hear takes on because it's not as much part of my experience is anxiety surrounding unfollowing people. I don't personally get anxious about unfollowing someone if I suddenly disagree with them or have a conflict or they become just generally dead to me or I feel I am to them. I just do the deed and wish they would too.
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    But I know that might not be another person's experience, so the option of muting maybe helps a lot of people avoid that anxious scenario.
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    I also don't "hate follow," because I'm not into social media espionage or whatever kind of game leads people to do that.
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    So having touched on all this stuff: Do you utilize the mute option here or on Twitter, FB, etc? Does muting tie into your sense of supporting someone via a follow but not wanting to see their stuff? Any other thoughts related to this coming up for you?
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    I don't mute because i feel like it's "fake support". This is for me. Not saying it's like that for anyone else. But I'm either into what you're doing or not. Following and then muting for me feels fake. While I understand why you are saying what you're saying, this is why I don't mute. πŸ’œ
    Suggested by Β  @marginally_amazing
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    I unfollowed a few facebook friends just because they posted a lot each day and I didn't want that clogging my feed (though I don't really use FB anymore). With insta I've definitely unfollowed some friends. While I sort of feel anxious about it sometimes, I think: we're not THAT close, so I doubt I'll see them/they'll bring it up in real life.
    And I've never used mute on twitter or on List! (Yet) Like I said yesterday, it's okay to like someone as a person and dislike their social media presence! To me, it's not something we should feel bad about. If giving someone a follow/friend but muting/unfollowing them is gonna keep you both happy, go for it. πŸ‘πŸ»
    Suggested by Β  @sarahmccoy
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    I have just about everyone unfollowed on FB. But all of my family, my old in laws and their family, old neighbors, people I went to high school with, my kids' friends, crazy punk bands that my son is in, are all on my FB and it's too much but I'd never want to unfriend them or hurt their feelings. I'm not on twitter because it's a lot of work.
    Here and IG, I follow people I like and ignore things I don't like that come up. I'm not interested in fighting anyone, I would broker a mild disagreement or argument at most, and everyone I didn't like here sort of went away without me having to do anything. And while I like things here sometimes because I like the person, I'm comfortable liking content from someone I don't care for if it's funny or clever or interesting. I can not like them and they can still bring something of value to me.
    Suggested by Β  @jennifergster
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    I don't unfollow or mute people because it makes me feel like a bitch. Even though that person probably wouldn't care anyway.
    So I just deal when I see their posts and/or get so irritated and angry, but avoid them. I also kind of like to see things I don't like that will make me angry and I don't even know why. Like whenever I'm on FB I just want to post πŸ™„ to everything because I click on things I don't agree with more than things I do so I can be like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU in my head. I assume that has fucked up my feed. So like if I don't unfollow or mute for that, I doubt it's ever gonna happen.
    Suggested by Β  @celestestelle
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    Pretty much what @marginally_amazing said..I've never been on Twitter, and I don't really post on FB anymore, but stay on, because my daughter and I use it together. So, here and IG is my only presence and I don't mind unfollowing if I'm bored or you haven't posted/li.sted in awhile..I just don't think people care much if I do or don't, so CLICK😬
    Suggested by Β  @cvlop61
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    When someone posts too much stuff I don't care for I unfollow. On li.st I even unfollow accounts when the person hasn't posted anything in month, which serve no other purpose than "cleaning". If it's an IRL friend or family I will not unfollow but just mute (only fb and IG then) because I don't want to hurt them. I only muted on li.st for the
    same reason than you : I don't want someone to pop up in my feed. I've also blocked a couple of jerks but I cannot tell you who they are now because it was in the spur of the moment and I don't remember. I don't understand how people notice if they are unfollowed. I can't tell you how many followers I have on any social media and how many people unfollowed me πŸ€” I also don't care. I know I have thousands of unused li.st accounts as followers and this bugs me, I wish I could all erase them!
    Suggested by Β  @solena
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    I've blocked only one person in my life, on here, because he was being a dick on one of my posts. I don't mute people on twitter or list (like why would I do it?). I also really don't get the notifications of certain people posting? Like if I remember them I'll just go look at their page. I don't really use push notifications at all though so maybe
    That's why. On Facebook I have some baggage with certain people and I worry that unfriending them would look like I care too much, so I mute those people. I've been toying with unfriending but we shall seeeee
    Suggested by Β  @aliciamcelhaney
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    I only mute people on fb because they're crazy family members and it's just easier than ignoring their requests. I don't use fb or twitter very much so I really only keep people I care about on there since I'm not checking it very often. I haven't muted anyone on here cause I don't really post about touchy subjects so I've never really had issues.
    I also have no idea how people notice when they're being unfollowed, I definitely don't but I've had people ask to be my friend seconds after deleting them way more times than I'm comfortable with. I still unfollow whoever I want because honestly if someone is THAT upset over it they aren't the kind of person I really want to talk to or hang out with. That's just my opinion though I can totally see where everyone else is coming from. It's interesting to see everyone's take on the matter!
    Suggested by Β  @sar_marieee