The Washing Machine: A Brief How-to

  1. I just want to address the whole "hey didn't you wear that flannel on Monday" thing that happens to me again and again
  2. the answer is yes! indeed I did!
  3. this exact flannel was on my body about 5 days ago!!! isn't that cool?
  4. so now I bet you're wondering how I do it. well, you're in for a very cool surprise.
  5. I'm going to tell you how.
  6. yes, that's right, I'm going to share the big secret to how this very flannel seemingly TRAVELLED THROUGH TIME to be worn again today.
  7. so at the end of the day, when I got in the shower, I put this flannel with all my other previously worn clothes.
  8. noticing the rather large pile building up, I decided to take action
  9. boldly and bravely, I carried my clothing items downstairs to a small room beside my kitchen
  10. this small room is called "the laundry room"
  11. inside this room are two machines. these are called "washing machines" and "dryers"
  12. I took my pile of dirty clothes and (here comes the climax) put them into the washing machine. i poured some of the special alliterative clean potion called "dawn detergent" into the machine and shut it, turning it on.
  13. I left the clothes alone and returned about an hour later. wait until you hear this next part.
  14. LIKE ACTUAL DAMN MAGIC, WHEN I RETURNED, MY CLOTHES WERE WET AND CLEAN
  15. with excited and nervously shaking hands, I transferred my previously soiled pile of clothing into the aforementioned "drying machine"
  16. after turning that contraption on WITH MY CLOTHES INSIDE I left again for another hour
  17. here's the best part
  18. WHEN I CAME BACK THE CLOTHES WERE DRY AND TOTALLY CLEAN
  19. THEY EVEN SMELLED NICE !!!
  20. now the flannel is here on my body!!!!