Tips for Getting Out of Bed in the Cold Weather

I feel like I make repetitive slightly varying copies of this list too often but it just reflects how I feel
  1. start by setting your alarm a bit earlier. this gives you time to lay in the darkness of your room and cry quietly beneath the blankets
  2. once it's time to wake up, don't get out of bed. spend an extra ten minutes wallowing in your own sadness and filth. cry only if you need to.
  3. now you have to get up. when you get dressed, use layers of warm clothing. wear it all inside out, as this will serve as a sign to those around you that you're in an extremely fragile state
  4. brush your teeth with warm water to keep those teethies warm. chuck your toothbrush against the fucking wall.