PEOPLE I DISLIKE IN MY BUILDING

  1. The guy upstairs who is either sawing something in complete silence or wailing on the acoustic guitar with a girl, Marnie and Desi style @lenadunham
  2. The small boy across the way who scream cries and then fake laughs like a child in a horror film
  3. The sexy model in the front who left her trash in the hallway until I passive aggressively left a note on her door that said "the dumpster is in the back".
  4. The British woman who sits under my window everyday and cheerily talks on "the tele" while her dog sniffs around in the small concrete "back yard" instead of taking him on a legitimate walk or to the park.
  5. The adorable little girl upstairs for having a cool mom and dad and overall just being too damn cute and friendly and being named "Cleo".
  6. The mute 18 year old boy who sells drugs out of the building, got our building targeted by gangs, partied and vomited Hawaiian pizza in the laundry room, and always holds the door open for me. Actually I don't mind him.
  7. The old woman across the hall who moved here from Maine to be closer to her daughter and grandchild and is barely here but when she is she yells in the voice of a carnival barker at her dog, Charlie.
  8. My old man building manager for...
    ... for being named "possum joe", driving a souped up corvette, talking to men differently than women (though I appreciate that he never curses at me but frequently will at men), lying about the fact that laurel and hardy slept here, having a bowl full of blood on the floor of his 1 bedroom apartment for his army of domesticated cats, possums, bunnies and birds and generally reeking of animal urine.
  9. Me. For making this list.