TYPES OF PEOPLE ON MY COMMUTER BUS THIS MORNING

  1. A woman of about fifty or sixty who is pretending to be dead so she can sit solo in a two seat row.
  2. Man wearing full suit reading Water For Elephants
  3. At least three twenty something females with airplane checkable sized eye bags from being awake at the crack of asshole after what was probably a night of just one too many glasses of wine
    I am one of the three.
  4. Large African American woman reading a gilded edge Bible and humming affirmatively to herself.
  5. Blonde woman daringly applying mascara as we hurtle down the turnpike at eighty plus miles per hour
  6. Bald guy WITH AN ACTUAL PINKY RING who is sitting next to me typing emails on his iPhone in size extra large font to a person I believe to be his assistant.
    I hope Darryl scans those PPS reports because this guy does not seem like he's messing around.