HOW I LOST "MODERN ROMANCE" BECAUSE OF MODERN ROMANCE

  1. Ok so what had happened was
  2. One day two girls came into the store where I work. They had just gotten copies of Aziz Ansari's Modern Romance for free
  3. It turned out they had an extra copy. My coworker Amanda was apparently really nice and friendly with them (her MO, really) so they gave it to her.
  4. Amanda left it at work for a couple weeks and I assumed she didn't want it, so I took it home.
  5. BUT I decided that for a year (November 2014 to November 2015) I was only going to read female authors. So I couldn't read it yet.
  6. So I lent it to my friend Emily, who returned it in a timely fashion. And I lent it to my brother, who's going to be a priest, so idk how relevant it was to his life.
  7. And then it say on my shelf for a while because I wasn't reading male authors get.
  8. And then I lent it to my friend Chelsey.
  9. Chelsey had it in her bag when she was hanging out with this guy she was seeing, who asked if he could read it next.
  10. She, like a good friend, asked me if it was cool, and I said yes.
  11. Apparently Chel and this guy were not exclusive, because she met this guy on Tinder named Angjelo (sic) and after a lot of planning they went on a date.
  12. And it was apparently magical.
  13. So Chelsey decided to break things off with Chris.
  14. WHO HAD MY COPY OF MODERN ROMANCE.
  15. Who I guess still has it?
  16. Anyway so Chel hangs out again with he of the unfortunate spelling.
  17. Who then tells her he wasn't actually looking for anything serious.
  18. It was pretty fucked up of him.
  19. So here are our takeaways:
  20. It's unclear that anyone who read this book learned anything about modern romance.
  21. But I really want to read it, and now I'm the one who doesn't have jt
  22. Even though I need it. So I can "succeed" at romance. Or something.
  23. And it sat on my shelf for months.
  24. Curse you modern romance for parting me from "Modern Romance"