MORBID THOUGHTS I'VE HAD SINCE GETTING A COLD

  1. What if this is a new epidemic and I'm spreading it throughout New York?
  2. What if I'm patient zero?
  3. Well, at least I'll be a little famous.
  4. Does patient zero always die?
  5. What if I'm not even zero, I'm patient five?
  6. Then I won't be famous and I'll still die.
  7. Actually, I can't even name any former patient zeroes.
  8. I'll be dead and obscure but vaguely hated for going into work and coughing on the B train
  9. Am I reading too much dystopian fiction?
  10. Can I at least live to see the end of the baseball playoffs?
  11. Or Star Wars Episode 7?
  12. It'll probably suck anyway.