THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF WHEN YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH GETS A NEW GIRLFRIEND
This one's for you, Chris Evans and Jenny Slate
- •DenialMaybe they're just friends! Maybe it's just promotion for the new movie they're doing! Us Weekly isn't a reliable news source, right? Right?!
- •AngerDoesn't he know that if we ever met we would be PERFECT TOGETHER? I'm never watching Obvious Child again! How could this not have been in that Rolling Stone profile last week? Couldn't this news have broke before the movie came out?
- •ComplainingHow many followers will I lose tweeting about this? I DON'T CARE. If you can't accept me at my "Chris Evans is dating Jenny Slate," than you don't deserve me at my best.
- •DepressionNo one will ever love me the way I imagined Chris Evans would love me.
- •AcceptanceWell, at least they're not married?