THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE QUEEN ELIZABETH AND IT WERE MY 90TH BIRTHDAY

  1. Demand Tom Hiddleston come read me poetry
    When you're the queen you can make British people do whatever you want all the time, right?
  2. Take selfies with Charlotte and George
  3. Join @list and make a list of those selfies
  4. Adopt like a dozen more corgis
    NEVER ENOUGH
  5. Start vaguely scolding Harry for bad behavior to see what he would confess too
  6. Get a rose gold Macbook
    The queen probably doesn't even use a computer but come on. How could she not.
  7. Make Daniel Craig serve me champagne cocktails
    See point one
  8. Call up Victoria Beckham and tell her she has to be in the Spice Girls tour or she can't hang out with Kate anymore
  9. Buy more hats
  10. Call Christopher Eccleston and scold him for not being in the Doctor Who anniversary
    The Queen watches Doctor Who, right?
  11. Be a stone cold bitch to Camilla
    Pretty sure she does this every day tho
  12. Ask Kate how "that girl Pippa" is
    Bonus points if it makes Harry uncomfortable
  13. Make out with Prince Philip
    What cuties gosh
  14. Prank call David Cameron
    How many puns can she make with the phrase "tax haven"?
  15. Make Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry make my birthday cake
  16. Binge drink Earl Grey
    It's both of our favorite tea!
  17. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO