TITLES FOR THE MEMOIR I WILL NEVER WRITE

Inspired by @k8mcgarry
  1. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
    Sadly already a book
  2. Don't Make Out With Your Friends: The Victoria Edel Story
  3. Leggings are pants
  4. Go Fuck Yourself And Other Things I Should Have Said To Customers
  5. I Shoud've Taken Better Notes