Best Messages to My Okcupid Account Left Unchecked Since 2011
I'm not kidding. Wish I had a time machine, because some of these involve a considerable amount of thought and effort.
- •So the context was I was hot and younger and said Nick Cage's best movie was Vampire's Kiss. I immediately attract people who immediately regret their decision.
- •"Cute toes" HARD PASS.
- •Hi Dave! I like how you split the difference between hitting on me and being my summer intern!
- •What gun? Or is this guy a hostage negotiator who takes his job home with him and has to drink to forget? Man! Color me intrigued!
- •Part 1 of Mike
- •Part 2 of MikeSorry I just don't have the energy to photoshop your number, buddy.
- •That dream was called "Wild at Heart," or possibly "Raising Arizona."
- •Oh I also quoted someone saying I looked like a Replicant. Because my hair was blond and I used to fall asleep after doing coke, which is SUCH a robot stereotype.
- •I love guys who want to argue about taste in comics before suggesting a long distance relationship.
- •He didn't like Step Brothers HARD PASS.
- •This is what we in the business call a "bit."
- •I am horrified regardless.