Best Messages to My Okcupid Account Left Unchecked Since 2011

I'm not kidding. Wish I had a time machine, because some of these involve a considerable amount of thought and effort.
  1. So the context was I was hot and younger and said Nick Cage's best movie was Vampire's Kiss. I immediately attract people who immediately regret their decision.
  2. "Cute toes" HARD PASS.
  3. Hi Dave! I like how you split the difference between hitting on me and being my summer intern!
  4. What gun? Or is this guy a hostage negotiator who takes his job home with him and has to drink to forget? Man! Color me intrigued!
  5. Part 1 of Mike
  6. Part 2 of Mike
    Sorry I just don't have the energy to photoshop your number, buddy.
  7. That dream was called "Wild at Heart," or possibly "Raising Arizona."
  8. Oh I also quoted someone saying I looked like a Replicant. Because my hair was blond and I used to fall asleep after doing coke, which is SUCH a robot stereotype.
  9. I love guys who want to argue about taste in comics before suggesting a long distance relationship.
  10. He didn't like Step Brothers HARD PASS.
  11. This is what we in the business call a "bit."
    Did I get that right, @Jack @emjuko?
  12. I am horrified regardless.