I'm not kidding. Wish I had a time machine, because some of these involve a considerable amount of thought and effort.
  1. So the context was I was hot and younger and said Nick Cage's best movie was Vampire's Kiss. I immediately attract people who immediately regret their decision.
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  2. "Cute toes" HARD PASS.
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  3. Hi Dave! I like how you split the difference between hitting on me and being my summer intern!
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  4. What gun? Or is this guy a hostage negotiator who takes his job home with him and has to drink to forget? Man! Color me intrigued!
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  5. Part 1 of Mike
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  6. Part 2 of Mike
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    Sorry I just don't have the energy to photoshop your number, buddy.
  7. That dream was called "Wild at Heart," or possibly "Raising Arizona."
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  8. Oh I also quoted someone saying I looked like a Replicant. Because my hair was blond and I used to fall asleep after doing coke, which is SUCH a robot stereotype.
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  9. I love guys who want to argue about taste in comics before suggesting a long distance relationship.
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  10. He didn't like Step Brothers HARD PASS.
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  11. This is what we in the business call a "bit."
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    Did I get that right, @Jack @emjuko?
  12. I am horrified regardless.
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