Compliments That I Always Think of as Secret Insults
Um but please don't stop giving me compliments, even/esp these ones.
- •"You are very self-aware." Just the slightly disconcerted tone people use. First of all 1) if I'm self-aware I know that already, and 2) stop sounding worried; I'm not SKYNET.
- •Great cheekbones/eyebrows. Please never stop saying this but know that i will be going home and looking in the mirror wondering "what happened that no one is talking about my rack anymore??"
- •"You seem very 'up' today." Yo let's not tiptoe...even my kindergarten teacher knew that shit was called Hyper.
- •"You are so prolific at blogging!" = LOL
- •And also "yeah but if you didn't use spellcheck or copyedit or fact check, you could be too!"
- •"I love your style." = you love how much I make you feel put together.
- •"How are you even alive?" Um I have a system.
- •"You look healthy." f*ck you too, mom. I see you've been eating well, too.