Take two Xanax and @ me in the morning
  1. Now that @lenadunham and @jennikonner are on here, I will just be writing things just to get their attention. 👋👋
  2. I will start exercising restraint/ cultivating a persona instead of being real about Ambien texts or whatever.
  3. Will have to start playing to the crowd.
  4. Will run out of list ideas.
  5. My list requests will go ignored.
  6. The commenter community will get infiltrated by haters.
  7. Pretty girls just taking photos of themselves in listicle form.
  8. Those pretty girls getting a billion more followers than me.
  9. Market will put a premium on people who can write funny jokes, like on Twitter.