NYC Myths You May Harbor if You Just Got Here

Inspired by @angusisley
  1. Myth: New York's weather is comparable to LA's.
    False. Two weeks ago it was freezing.
  2. Myth: Williamsburg is great!
    False: Williamsburg tolerable for short visits and as a place to trade your wares. But long term it's a port of drunks, thieves and the already-wealthy. It's basically IRL Pentos. Esp when L train is out and you can only arrive by water or a day's journey.
  3. Myth: New Yorkers "do lunch."
    False: We are just trying to soak up this nice weather before it becomes a steaming cesspool. That said: who is up for boozy brunch on Highline?!
  4. Myth: Evan Peters lives here.
    Are you kidding? If that was true do you think I'd be complaining about the WEATHER? No, he's just here bc Emma Roberts is shooting a film in the city and they got a free hotel room. He's still confused about why everyone is honking all the time, and just took the SUBWAY and bought a CITIBIKE pass.*
  5. Myth: Everyone knows each other and runs in a crew of motley literary-editorial-blogging types.
    True: But the secret is we haven't seen each other since it turned cold in October. Literally, if you have a September/October birthday in NYC, EVERYONE shows up because we know Winter is Coming.
  6. Myth: We care about upfronts.
    False: Not even entertainment reporters are sure why New York upfronts are necessary. But we allow it because they coincide with the nice weather. They are the spring bookend to fall birthdays.
  7. *Myth: Everyone in NYC has a disproportionate obsession with Evan Peters, considering he's only on TV for three months out of the year.
    False: only 40% of New Yorkers are obsessed with EP.
  8. Myth: Our analysts are our gurus.
    Truth: mine is better than anyone's though because she let me spoil this week's Mad Men and then debated for 10 minutes whether or not ***** had already had ***** in a previous season. (I was right though.)