➕➕open List: Suggestions for What I've Learned/ What I'll Never Do Again Reading➕➕

I'm doing an event series next Wednesday at Union Hall: the series is called "what I've learned" and this month's theme is "something I'll never do again...probably." Kind of stuck on ideas, especially cuz I'm not a comedian and don't know how funny/serious to be. But here's a couple ideas I've had so far, and I've love suggestions!
  1. What I learned from trying to make edibles my "thing."
    I mean, I've already graphed out the highlights from this on various lists; aka "über driver," the panic attacks I've brought down on myself and friends, losing my rental car on Santa Monica, etc.
  2. What I've learned from reading the comment section on Salon.
  3. What I've learned from spending a summer covering the "scene" in the Hamptons.
    Never again FOR REAL.
  4. What I've learned from googling "Pain" on Craigslist and getting addicted to Phentanyl.
    Another drug one...too dark, maybe? It would be based on this: http://bit.ly/1LiZK5m
  5. Agh these are all so dark. I really need to think outside the box for something funny or more lighthearted.
  6. What I've learned from going to be a Burning Man offshoot in the middle of bum fuck Delaware, where I traded a Grateful Dead shirt for a nipple piercing.