The Best Things About Los Angeles

@liana thank you for the psychic equivalent of that mandala coloring book
  1. Sense of autonomy
    In New York, I often feel like everything is automated and that I have no control over where I go or what I do or how I feel. Maybe it's just having a car for a bit, but I feel myself growing to fill the boundaries of my personality again whenever I'm in LA.
  2. "Coachella" just another word for "How I Dressed in HS"
    When I was dabbling in lesbianism AND Hot Topic!
  3. People strive to be relaxed, not uptight
    Like what are we doing over here with our obsession with neurotics like Woody Allen and Seinfeld and Mia Farrow (circa Rosemary's Baby). Go to LA and do you.
  4. Crystals
    I fucking love me some geodes, too. And feathers. And sage. It's like LA and I both share a love for anything that belongs on a sacrificial alter.
  5. Cars
    You can't really describe how nice it is to drive when talking to New Yorkers without a license. They just refuse to believe there is anything spiritual/magical about the experience of driving. I'm sure if I lived in LA, it would get old. (Flip-side: that weird tired you get from driving all day but not technically moving your body.)
  6. Weed dispensaries
    These solve 99 percent of my issues. They are way better for you than bars AND have that old-timey apothecary feel where the employees are all SUPER experts and v. helpful. What mixology never was, weed dispensaries are.
  7. Time change
    I like being 3 hours behind because then I'm not technically staying up as late.
  8. "I know you! We're friends on Twitter!"
    This is a cool way to actually introduce yourself that rarely happens in NYC. We just use social media as a policing tool for anyone who Justine Sacco-s it with a mistimed joke.
  9. My own novelty factor
    Look, I don't live there. No one there is sick of my 24/7 shit because it's still only 5 days out of the month you have to deal with me. Makes me much more palatable.
  10. Bigfoot
    Lately I've been worrying that if Bigfoot gets more mature I'll stop being his spirit human. And then what?!
  11. Yo for serious I can't quit her and would spend every free air mile I have to just goof around IRL.
  12. Positivity
    My boss once pointed out a journalism truism that applies a million times to real life: it's easy to make fun of something. It's much, much harder to be decent. The whole open-minded LA "good vibes" thing, as corny as it may seem when on the other coast, is such a healthier baseline than reflexive judgement.
  13. Tons more cults
    We barely have any, because it's hard to believe in anything when you are so stressed out because the F train is down and the pharmacy is closing and you need to call your mother back while stumbling down the sidewalk in shitty heels.
  14. Little black dresses are over-fucking-rated.
    Um hi this is me now.
  15. Spirituality is aspirational and available
    If that's what you are after, LA is a much better place for it. It's kind of the opposite of going to analysis four times a week in NYC, though (hopefully!) results are similar.
  16. Home to best Listers
    @bjnovak and @sophia jump to mind.
  17. My niece is there.
    Little baby Ava*, daughter of @johnnyartpants! I'm officially the weird aunt I've always wanted to be! (By the time she's old enough to remember, I will stop spelling her name with an E! Promise!)
  18. Cacti
    How have these things not made it into more biblical metaphors?!
  19. Sunlight
    God I had no idea this was actually necessary for survival. That's how long I've been in Brooklyn.
  20. Inspiring
    At this point I just plan all my features for end of month when I can do them in LA. Editors notice the difference in quality.
  21. Bedazzled
    This whole state is just rhinestone jean shorts and soft tees. I love it.